As mammals we are a social species. We have evolved to rely on being “accepted” in our social groups as a way to survive. In the stone age, rejection from a social group could literally mean death. Given this, it makes sense that human beings developed the essential skill of people pleasing. Because our culture values people pleasing so highly, attempts to set boundaries with others and nurture our relationship with ourselves are often met with displeasure or rejection from people around us. Simply recognizing that the impulse to please is not required in the moment, but instead an instinctual or conditioned response can create enough space for you to look at it objectively.
Read MoreThe best way to make our mark is through the choices we make each and every day. This September, I’m bringing colour and light to this month of transitions. Part of the reason for writing this blog post is to share this re-frame with you but part of it is to hold myself accountable. By putting this down in words, I hope to get to the end of this month with a sense of pride, peace and ease. Want to join me?
Read MoreYes, we can gather with friends, attend sporting events, go out for dinner, spend a day at the mall, etc., etc. But these things are not the same as they were post-pandemic. Whether it’s discussion with friends about vaccination status, navigating the anxiety that’s associated with sitting close to strangers at an event, wondering if the sore throat you have may not be allergies after all…things are not “normal”.
Read MoreWe’ve been talking and writing about change this month and two questions that have come up over and over again are “how do I know when it’s the right time to make a change?” and “how do I know if this is the right change to make?”. Given that these are the questions people are asking, we will endeavor to answer!
Read MoreWhen changes are forced upon us, we often react with resistance even if the change has the potential to be positive. Or we may realize that we are unhappy or unfulfilled in a certain area in our life but when we consider change as a way to grow and improve, we often recoil in fear and do nothing instead. What’s going on here? Why are we so afraid to change?
Read MoreOver the past year, the whole world has been forced to change in ways that have been unfamiliar and unexpected. Each and every person has lived a different version of this but nonetheless, there has been an enormous amount of change forced upon us that we did not choose. And for some, there has been change that is chosen.
Let’s take a look at how these kinds of changes are different from one another.
Read MoreTrust is a part of the foundation of a healthy relationship. It’s encouraging while being built, and fulfilling when strong and constant. It’s painful when broken and often painful to heal, though trust truly can be healed if it becomes damaged. In this article, Registered Psychotherapist (Q) Mikaela Gossman-Bond introduces the concept of trust in romantic relationships using the metaphor of a book.
Read MoreWe know that navigating Ontario’s complex mental health care system can be daunting, so here’s some useful info that can help. Making the decision to start therapy is stressful enough. Figuring out how to pay for it shouldn’t be an added stressor. That’s why we’ve put together this outline of what is and isn’t covered by the Ontario Health Insurance Plan - OHIP.
Read MoreWe completely understand that finances are an issue for many people who are in search of a counsellor or therapist in Ontario. That’s why we have compiled this list of low cost counselling options. Take a look and see what might be an option for you.
Read MoreCriticism has been identified as one of the major predictors of divorce. If criticism has become a problem in your relationship, it is essential to the long-term health of your relationship to combat it.
Read MoreWe know that the pandemic is affecting intimacy and sexual relationships but chances are, even without this ‘mandatory togetherness’ you’ve notice changes in your sex life already. Maybe sex has decreased in your relationship or maybe the sex is feeling dull, uncomfortable or obligatory instead of being exciting or fun?
Read MoreThere is something unique and interesting about the experience of loneliness during COVID for people in relationships. COVID has brought a whole new level of challenge to our social landscape, putting major pressure on the person/people in our direct household to meet all of our social needs. And it doesn't seem to be enough.
Read MoreThe Why Art podcast is a Hamilton-based project that interviews Canadian artists about everything related to their art. everwell was invited to the podcast to discuss the very important and timely issue of mental health for artists. Whether you’re an artist or not, we think you’ll enjoy this conversation.
Read MoreGrieving people often struggle to find the support they need. Well-meaning friends and family sometimes miss the mark which can add additional emotional burden during an already difficult time. Friends and family of grieving people struggle to provide the support that their grieving person needs. They want to help but sometimes they don’t know how or why their efforts are not well-received. Why is this so hard??? Let’s take a look at what’s happening under the surface.
Read MoreDo you know someone who’s struggling with anxiety and you’re just not sure what you can do to help? Here’s what you need to know…
Grief is often viewed as something that we have to “get over” in order to move on with our lives. It’s like there’s this unspoken expectation for us to heal and get rid of our grief by looking forward and tucking away the past. This perspective, however, denies the reality of our grief: we all move through grief in our own way.
Read MoreAs a therapist who has the privilege of working with grieving people, I am often asked “Why?” when I begin to work with a client on the expression of emotions associated with their grief. As a general rule, our culture doesn’t do a good job of teaching us how to deal with difficult emotions. So it’s important for us to find ways to express our loss and grief…
Read MoreWhen you hear the word grief, you often think of the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship, but with the coronavirus, we are experiencing grief due to the loss of our “regular” lives before the pandemic. We are experiencing the loss of our routines, our schedules, our relationships, our sense of security and safety.
Read MoreIt’s winter in Canada. Winter is tough at the best of times but winter in the midst of COVID lockdown feels harsh and unfamiliar. Many people are feeling down, stuck, and unmotivated. I know I am. I’ve been working through this ‘funk’ with many of my clients over the past couple of months and together we’ve begun to describe this phenomenon.
Read MoreWorld Cancer Day is an important opportunity to reflect on how cancer has impacted our own lives, the lives of our loved ones and the lives of people within our community. Carly Fleming wanted to help raise awareness by writing this blog and sharing some of her experiences working with people affected by cancer. There are five things she wants you to know…
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